When we live with fibromyalgia ( or any chronic condition) we may eventually question ourselves to how can we find purpose to life. What is the purpose in life if we are constantly in pain, extremely fatigued to be productive or struggling with other symptoms of the illness? How does one find purpose in life when even simple tasks such as showering becomes daunting and drain us mentally and physically? We often attribute purpose to our career. When we work, we have daily purpose. What happens to that purpose when we can no longer work?

Before my fibromyalgia diagnosis, you could find me working either as an educational assistant (EA), community disability worker or early childhood educator. I based all my college training around these three jobs – certified to work as an EA, level two early childhood and had taken many training courses as a disability worker. I also had all my training completed to work as a mental health rehabilitation worker. As you can see, I based my education around supporting others around me. Reality is – I probably won’t be able to return to any of these work settings as they are too demanding for my body to keep up. It is very difficult to learn to accept this. Reality is – you have to learn to accept this as your new reality and move forward. Are there days that I find myself still angry that I can no longer work in any of these fields? YES! Is it ok to feel angry, disappointed and discouraged? YES! Does it make me a weak person for not being able to return to these jobs? NO! Even though some days I do feel that it does make me weak. 

I recently ran into the parents of a client I used to support in the community I lived in years ago. Reminiscing about those days made me really begin to question what my purpose in life is living with fibromyalgia. I no longer have a career or job to see to daily as it became too much for me to handle shortly before I got diagnosed. I suppose I measured purpose in life by my career.

A few weeks ago, I was discussing purpose of life with the psychologist I see regularly. I shared my frustrations and we had a discussion about purpose. I was reminded that there are other ways to find purpose in life – even through hobbies. I thought I had grieved the loss of my career years ago – however what we often forget is that one can return to any stage of grief at anytime. Grief is not a one way street.

A conversation I had with a very wise lady ( also a life coach) said to me months ago – ” What if you haven’t lost yourself or your purpose in life!? What if you are only just realizing who you are now. The person you were before fibromyalgia may not of been who you were meant to be and you are just finding that out now.” It is a true statement, because as our lives change over the years ( even without a chronic illness) our purpose in life will alter and change. Our experiences and goals will alter our purpose. I had mentioned that I had begun blogging about my fibromyalgia journey. “What if you were meant to be a blogger all this time? You are helping more people blogging than you do in a year working in a classroom as an EA!” I can’t disagree with that statement – my blog has gone worldwide – many followers make time daily to stop into “my world” to see what I have posted. In 2022, my blog posts were viewed over 50.2K times. I was shocked at my year in review stats I received January 1, 2024! I had also submitted my blog to be considered to be listed on the top 60 blogs for fibromyalgia and to my surprise it was accepted to be listed for high quality informative information. I am currently holding spot 23, but it changes position monthly depending on how many blog posts I release. Obviously the more I blog the higher on the list my blog is. Even though I am currently sitting at 23, I see this as an accomplishment as many of the bloggers listed on this site are highly known fibromyalgia advocates/ speakers or even doctors who treat fibromyalgia!

In a way my blog could be considered a job even though it is not a “paid” position. Not only am I a blogger about fibromyalgia I have become an advocate and educator. When I began my blog in 2022, I was set out to help people with fibromyalgia worldwide not feel so alone and isolated. I write many educational blogs which help inform and educate people on fibromyalgia worldwide. My blogs are reshared over and over by people – I was hoping by educating people even without fibromyalgia the stigma of fibromyalgia may decrease even by a little bit. I do have many followers without fibromyalgia who are following and reading my blog to help understand and support a loved one or friend with fibromyalgia.

I have slowly been working on writing a book on my fibromyalgia journey that I hope to eventually publish and sell. I am no where near being ready to publish it and it is in a very rough draft at the moment. Most is just jotted down and not even formed into sentences yet. It is a work in progress. I also attend many fibromyalgia online conferences and summits and often thought about possibly becoming a speaker/advocate at one of these summits. I did get approached shortly after starting my blog to be a speaker on a fibromyalgia podcast, however being new to the blogging world I was not confident enough in speaking live about my fibromyalgia journey. I was still learning to adjust to life with a chronic illness and struggling a lot myself. If approached again, I would possibly jump at the opportunity now! If it is meant to be, the opportunity will present itself again.

For a lot of us with fibromyalgia, it becomes so overwhelming when we don’t feel like our life has meaning. Our purpose doesn’t have to be big and grand. For those of you who follow my Fibrofighter’s Facebook page, you may even leave a comment that might help pull someone out of a depression. You may find yourself offering an ear to just listen to someone vent through a messege – that gives you purpose.